Why not grow yourself a Gay Best Friend? Simply place in water and within 2 hours it will start to grow reaching up to 600% its original size. Just look at what he has to offer:
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He loves to shop
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He'll give you an honest opinion on your hair and style
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He'll tell you when your bum looks too big
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He loves to dance at clubs
Once removed from water it will slowly shrink back to its original size, and can be used again and again.
